Dear man, Never shame your wife - Abhikesh

 Below I am sharing a post by Abhikesh, titles as "Dear man, Never shame your wife".

Whenever a woman complains about men's abusive behaviors, a bunch of triggered men swarm to the comments and ask "why only pointing fingers to men?" The answer is simple. Because men created this gender inequality/patriarchy in the societies and rule over women with steal toed boots over women's necks, therefore, men are responsible for EVERY problem in the PATRIARCHAL societies. Because men lead women there, whether women like it or not.

For example, consider the virginity of women. In PATRIARCHAL societies where men see a women's virginity as the holy grail of her character, women are sexually not active before marriage. Can you blame women for holding it until marriage, selfishness, or acting like a lethargic log when it comes to sexuality? or even they left babies behind who are born out of wedlock? No, you can't, because you created that hell for her in the first place. You may be a good man but I am talking about the society as a whole.

Dear man, Never shame your wife...especially when you're angry. Your anger will pass, but your words may become her inner voice.

And that shame doesn’t just end with her...it silently passes on to your children.

When you raise your voice or throw sharp words at her, you might think you’re expressing your frustration. But what you're actually doing is tearing down a world she built with love. 

A woman doesn't just hear your words... she absorbs them. And often, she turns them into self-doubt.

The way you treat her becomes the way your children learn to treat themselves—and others. They watch. They feel the energy. They carry the wounds even if they don’t have the words for them. 

A child who grows up watching his mother silenced grows up either fearful or disrespectful. A daughter who sees her mother shamed may begin to believe love always comes with pain.

Marriage isn’t about perfection...it’s about protection. You’re not just her husband in the good times. You’re her shelter in the storms too. And when your anger rises, that’s the true test of your love. Do you still choose respect when it’s hardest?

Words don’t disappear. Especially not for a woman who has opened her heart to you. They echo in her dreams, in her body, in the way she sees herself. Your words either help her rise or slowly break her spirit.

True masculinity is not in dominance—it is in discipline. It’s not in raising your voice—it’s in raising your standards. A real man protects her dignity, especially from his own ego.

You may apologize later, but some wounds stay even after the sorry. It's not your apology that heals—it’s your behavior that prevents the wound in the first place.

Your anger is temporary. But her hurt might be lifelong. And if you love her, that should matter more than being right in an argument. Ask yourself: Do I want to win this fight, or do I want to win her trust?

A relationship can survive disagreements. But it cannot survive repeated disrespect. You don't need to be perfect—but you need to be safe for her heart. You need to be a man she can look at and say, "Even when he's angry, I trust him not to break me."

Because one day, your children will become lovers, husbands, and wives too. And they'll carry what they saw in your home into their own relationships. Be the reason they believe love is gentle, not the reason they fear it.

- Abhikesh